Learn how to create a focused, intentional, joy filled bucket list that you'll actually use for 2020. Tap into what you really want, mindfully say yes to the things that serve you, and discover a list making idea that really works for you.

I share my aha moments about how to make lasting change in your life without getting overwhelmed. How can you take what inspires you, and make it work for you? 

Episode 219: Flylady Marla Cilley on How Form Habits and Routines to Create More Joy In Your Life

Episode 18: Flylady Marla Cilley on Finally Loving Yourself
Episode 19: Flylady Marla Cilley on “Finding Joy in Everything You Do”

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Mari Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Marla Cilley's Website

It’s a true pleasure to have Flylady Marla Cilley back on the podcast for her third episode, this time to talk about how we can form habits and routines to create more joy in our lives. The last time I spoke with Marla, she shared about her work at Flylady.net, and we agreed to regroup closer to the end of my first season to talk about habits and routines. Whether you go back to listen to Episode 18 and 19 to catch up with the conversation, or not, I know you’re going to love this episode.

Resources
Flylady.net – Marla’s website
Episode 18: Flylady Marla Cilley on Finally Loving Yourself
Episode 19: Flylady Marla Cilley on “Finding Joy in Everything You Do”
Jerry Mills’ website: Singer and song writer (who wrote about having ADHD)
David Burns, The 10 Types of Stinkin’ Thinkin’
Marla is the author of “Body Clutter,” and “Sink Reflections,” both are best sellers, and  I can not recommend them highly enough.
Sink Reflections – Marla’s first book (on Amazon)
Body Clutter – Marla’s second book (on Amazon)

The launch of 3 joyful things! Paula takes a look at how you can bring Jennifer Louden's idea of living a "human scaled life" into your everyday by unpacking the inspiration, intention, and action and steps to follow so you can give it a try.

Jennifer Louden is a coach, author, and all around delightful powerhouse of self care, and I’m delighted to have her on the show to talk about her upcoming book: Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next. Considered a pioneer in the self care movement, Jennifer wrote her first book, The Woman’s Comfort Book, in 2005. I really enjoyed talking to Jennifer, and it was an honor to have her on the show.

Jennifer Louden and I talk about:
-How masterminds and coaches can help shed light on things that you can’t see for yourself
-Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next
-Using what bothers you as an invitation to dig deeper and create transformation
-Rock bottom as a place to transform from
-Why we need to normalize that life has hard parts to it, and struggle
-Taking action is the key transforming
-Living a human scale life - one that honors your need for boundaries and care instead of being focused on hustle
-Why “faster” and “hacking” and “hustle” don’t equate to “better” and why we need to set kind goals for ourselves
-“Net joy” and how to keep it as a compass for your life
-Change and growth are not linear
-How Wonder can help you get your bother on
-Grit without compassion is just grind

Resources
Jennifer Louden’s website
The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year by Jennifer Louden on Amazon
Pre-Order Why Bother: Discover the Desire for What’s Next by Jennifer Louden on Amazon

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To read the full show notes, click or tap here. 

Dr. Julie Kinn is a clinical psychologist, working at the Department of Defense in their Defense Health Agency’s Connected Health department, creating health technology to teach mindfulness to veterans and those in the armed forces. It was a treat getting to have Julie on the show, she is lovely mix of innovation, smarts, and passion, and I think you’ll just love getting to meet her.

In this episode, Dr. Julie Kinn and I talk about:
-Health technology to teach mindfulness
-DHA Connected Health and its role in the DoD (Department of Defense)
-Behavioral health and mental health
-Sleep, and the importance of good sleep in your day
-Military healthcare innovations
-Apps to support military children
-Free apps and podcasts that are available to everyone, worldwide
-DoD’s partnership with Sesame Street to create apps to support kids
-How to approach the overuse of apps and screen time by children
-Living beyond pain
-Her thoughts to jump start your joy: indulge in hobbies, bake bread, and learn to quilt

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To see the full show notes for this episode, click here.

Francesca Hogi is a dating and career coach, 2 time Survivor contestant, and a lawyer.  We had a fun and light filled discussion and I feel so grateful that she joined me this week.

n this episode Francesca Hogi and I talk about:

-Her early love of reading, and not knowing what she wanted to be for a career
-Working as a lawyer
-How she was interested early on in relationships and dating
-Attending the Match Making Institute
-How baby steps brought her to become a match maker, and later a coach
-Becoming an entrepreneur
-Advice for finding the right relationship
-Celebrating our “unconscious genius”
-Aiming for contentment and joy in a relationship, and looking at what you prioritize in finding a partner
-Jumpstarting your joy by talking to strangers, taking a social media break, and keeping a gratitude journal

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Learn the ten things you need to know about crafting a creative process for your podcast, blog, or other creative pursuit. Find out why you need to set aside time, the lies we've all been told about what creativity is (and isn't) and how to define process

To read the full show notes, click here.

Fred Waitzkin is the author best known for “Searching for Bobby Fischer,” the story about his son Josh, who was a chess prodigy at age six. It’s with great pleasure that I have Mr. Waitzkin on the show to talk about his new book, “Deep Water Blues.”

In this episode, Fred and I talk about:
-His writing process and how he approaches his craft
-Early influences in his life, including his father and fishing
-His new book, Deep Water Blues
-Tips on how to approach writing and how to craft a story
-How to jump start your joy: meet a friend for a great talk, fishing, and allowing your work to be transformative

Resources
Fred Waitzkin’s Website
Deep Water Blues by Fred Waitzkin (on Amazon)
The Night of the Gun by David Carr (on Amazon)
The Old Man and the Sea in Life Magazine

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Read the full show notes by clicking or tapping here.

In this episode, I’m really thrilled to have the dream catcher coach, Anabell Bender joining me to talk about believing in your dreams, and allowing yourself to live a happy and authentic life. In addition to coaching, Anabell is a a multi-passionate, and has had a lot of experience with the creative process. You can only imagine the massive amounts of joy, delight, and laughter that come from this conversation.

In this episode, Anabell and I talk about:

-Her early joys of altruistically supporting others
-Starting with baby steps to reach your dreams
-How perfectionism can stop you in your tracks
-An introduction to mindfulness
-Finding happiness that is not fleeting
-Human design readings and how they work
-Jump starting joy in the world: smile at others to bring joy to your day and their day

Get the full show notes for this episode by clicking or tapping here.

Kedma Ough is a business development and business funding expert. Having experienced homelessness and abuse in her life, she’s made it her mission to help under-represented entrepreneurs find a way to get their businesses funded. Her book, “Target Funding” is all about how to find unique options for small businesses. Being a multi-passionate, she has focused her own entrepreneurship on two things: helping women and people of color get funding for their small businesses, and niche-ing down to serve and advocate for differently abled individuals.

In this episode, Kedma and I talk about:

-          How get funding for your small business

-          Looking for superheroes in your life

-          How to build a niche business that will support your dreams and be a match for your interests and strengths

-          Owning who you are and bringing that into your business

-          How to Jump Start Your Joy: practice gratitude, serve others, helping kids

Recorded live from the She Podcasts Live Conference, we are sharing the six most joyful things we've seen and heard here - from podcasters doing innovative things, to the community, to the spirit of altruism and inclusion, it's been an amazing conference.

Sign up for "Three Joyful Things" Newsletter on my website.

Oren Jay Sofer is a communication expert and mindfulness teacher at Spirit Rock in Woodacre, California. He recently wrote the book “Say What You Mean: A Nonviolent Approach to Communication,” and I’m delighted to have him as a guest on the podcast.

In this episode, Oren and I talk about:

-Mindful communication

-That language is an inherited phenomenon

-How to stop ruminating over anger when you are upset

-The work of Marshall Rosenberg around non-violent communication

-Active listening and how to build understanding in communication

-His thoughts on how to Jump Start Your Joy: find ways to be kind and generous, attune to beauty, connect to meaning and purpose, and play more

Resources

Say What You Mean: A Nonviolent Approach to Mindful Communication by Oren Jay Sofer (on Amazon)

Oren Jay Sofer’s Website

Sign up for Oren’s class that starts October 17, 2019

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

You can find the full show notes by clicking here.

In this episode I talk about:
- Joy being a choice
- Akashic Records
- The releasing practice that I followed over the summer
- Being a “Full Stop Change Agent”
- Realizing the large role that choice plays in my life every day
- Choosing to let go of alcohol
- Choosing to address trauma in my life
- How my husband and I chose to let go of the Story that “the other shoe was about to drop at any time”
- How my husband and I have chosen to try on new ways of communicating with each other, by working through Oren Jay Sofer’s book together
- The role of curiosity and care in our communication
- My increase in clients that are a perfect match since I went through the practice of releasing what was no longer serving me
- The increase in joy in my life

Sign up for "Three Joyful Things" on my website.

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Non-Violent Communication by Oren Jay Sofer
The Akashic Records
She Podcasts Live 2019

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Show Notes:

Jess Ekstrom is the energetic CEO and founder of Headbands of Hope, and the developer of the Mic Drop Workshop. I had the pleasure of meeting Jess in Atlanta last year, and knew from the moment she shared the mission of her company (and it only further made me love her when she quoted Will Ferrell) that I wanted to talk to her more, and to have her on the show.

Jess Ekstrom and I talk about:

• Her earliest sparks of joy: food, and going on a scavenger hunt for a new skateboard that had her name spray painted on it
• How she started Headbands of Hope
• The insights she learned working for Make a Wish, and having met the owner of Toms shoes as she was creating her company
• Sometimes the things that are most earth shattering and game changing are the simplest
• How to get to inspiration from frustration
• Her Mic Drop workshop, and how it fills the need of having more women speakers at conferences and conventions
• Why we both love Will Ferrell and how we feel that he creates connection with others through humor
• What schools and parents can do to provide children with a more well rounded point of view and better life skills
• Her upcoming book, which is due out in November 2019
• How to jump start joy in your life: unplug: remove yourself from the screen, play more, and develop a writing habit

Resources
Jess Ekstrom’s Headbands of Hope website
Jess Ekstrom’s Mic Drop Workshop website

This week on the show, I’m taking a look at how I grew my business while working a 9 to 5 job. I’ll walk you through the inspiration, intention, and actions I took, and share reflections on how you can use these same tips to start or grow your own business.

Resources
Do a Ten in Three.
The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

Kelly Denithorne is an educator, transgender advocate, and the blogger behind “Unordinary Style.” Kelly started her blog in 2010, and began it as a place to explore with her love of style while she was exploring women’s fashion. Born as a male, Kelly tried on several different titles for herself, from transvestite, to cross dresser, and then to transgender non-binary. In the last year, Kelly has begun teaching in her middle school as a woman, and has started the process of transitioning.

In this episode, Kelly Denithorne and I talk about:

• Her earliest sparks of joy, hanging out with her sister
• Her experience of growing up as a male, and the confusion that she experienced around having unidentified gender variance
• Being a teacher, and transitioning from dressing as a male to dressing female this school year
• Seeking therapy with someone who specializes in gender variance
• The reactions of her students and parents to her presenting as a woman
• Her path to discovering her true self
• The role being a fashion blogger played in her journey
• Her inspiration in starting to take on speaking opportunities
• How to jumpstart your joy: learn to accept who you are and how you work with it, sharing your story, and always be humble enough to learn

Resources
Kelly Denithorne’s blog: Unordinary Style
Kelly Denithorne’s Speakering Website
How to Create Cleavage, as found on Kelly’s blog
Kelly (as Nadine Spirit) on Instagram
Jessica Lynn’s website

Stasia Savasuk is an amazing style coach, has an outstanding Tedx Talk, and is the founder of Stasia’s Style School. She’s joining me on the show, and I’m delighted to share this interview. We giggled our way through our discussion, and had a hilarious time talking about style, what lights us up, how to find what kinds of styles fit YOU, and, all about Stasia’s inspiring story of becoming an entrepreneur.

In this episode, Stasia and I talk about:

• Her early entrepreneurial work as a child, collecting and selling worms
• How she broke up with style, and wore very bland clothing for many years
• That one size fits all is bullshit
• How to discover style that works for you and reflects who you really are
• How to get in touch with who you really are
• What it looks like to belong to yourself
• How her differently abled child has taught her so much about inside out congruency
• Her thoughts on how to jumpstart your joy: asking yourself how you want to show up, don’t participate in body shaming, and getting outside

Resources
Stasia Savasuk’s website
Stasia on Instagram 

This week, two big things hit me at once: the joy that comes naturally to children, and the Netflix special with Brene Brown, where she talks about the vulnerability that adults experience around joy, making it THE most vulnerable of emotions. What gives?

The quick synopsis? Over time, we're conditioned to be cautious with our emotions, and we build up self doubt. What does it look like when you are wrangling a slow build up of self doubt?

Eventually, this can lead to much of what many of us spend so long trying to unwind as you get into your adult life:

• Feeling like you are “too much” or “not enough”
• The impact of mean girls on your life
• Imposter syndrome, or, feeling like you’re a fraud and people are about to find out that you don’t know what you’re doing
• The “who am I to?” question that inner critics love so much
• Inner critics
• Resistance
• Feeling like you’re out of control
• Not trusting yourself to make decisions
• Confidence
• Self – image: how you dress and see yourself

The good news? Once you recognize that you are missing joy, you can find your way back to it.

• Choose joy, daily. Own that you want more joy in your life, and aim for joy, as a “wayfaring” emotion.
• When you feel yourself in that space of being excited and terrified about trying something new, lean in to that. It’s leading you back to a place that feels joyful to you. Don’t let the old conditioning of shying away from excitement or something new stop you.
• Schedule time for joy in your life. Look for places you’ve always wanted to visit, but haven’t. Return to places that have brought you joy. Make space in your schedule to do something joyful, for the sake of joy. Remember, if it’s not on your calendar, it’s not going to happen.
• Think back to what brought you joy as a child. So many guests on the show find that there is a strong tie to whatever they loved as a child in their present life.
• Some thoughts on the top things guests suggest to jump start joy in your life: hang out with animals, do something creative, get in touch with nature.
• Brene Brown found that people who have a gratitude practice, and who believe in a higher power in the universe, are often those who are more likely to be joyful. Try listing or noticing what you’re grateful for each day.
• Catch yourself if you hear yourself spreading “shoulds” or conditioning that is limiting how someone else experiences joy for themselves.
• Do something that surprises or delights someone else.
• Let joy be important to you.

Resources

Brene Brown: the call to courage on Netflix
Kennolyn Camps

The Inspiration of the Four Golden Insights

I truly enjoyed getting to speak with Jonni, and felt myself sinking into the conversation in a deep way. One of the most inspirational parts of the discussion for me was when we walked through the Four Golden Insights, which are the pillars for the work Jonni does.

1. Life is Sacred
2. Love is our Nature – we serve, nature, and find connection
3. Wisdom is our Power – Jonni talks about finding the intelligence of love, and reconciling the appearance of resistance and opposites.

• We also talked about “embodied leadership power, which equals the ability to influence the environment around us.”
• Wisdom can enliven and awaken the truth of who we are

4. Fulfillment is our Purpose – we find our purpose by fully understanding who we are

Jonni Pollard and I talk about:

• His earliest sparks of joy as a child – playing with other kids, playing games, and any kind of games where he could evolve and find excitement
• Being a multipassionate, where he reflected that he felt that the many different things he enjoys in his life are all just different ways that his soul and purpose is revealing itself
• The filters that we use from the outside looking in, and how it changes the way we see ourselves
• The desire of creative beings to become expressive
• Our conditioning as children and the pervasive ideology that we learn as young people
• How adopting and conforming to social ideals causes immense suffering
• The four golden insights that set the pillars for the Golden Sequence
• What happens when energy does not flow naturally
• The dissonance that fear creates
• Why we need to connect to our purpose and our humanity
• Jonni’s thoughts How to Jump Start Your Joy: wake up and connect to the world around you, meditate for success and to affirm your humanity, and to show your best connected self to whomever you first have contact with in the morning

Resources

Jonni Pollard’s website

The Golden Sequence by Jonni Pollard on Amazon

1 Giant Mind Podcast

1 Giant Mind App

In Part 2 of the Season 4 Finale, host Paula Jenkins counts down the top ten most downloaded episodes. Listen to short clips from Jonni Pollard, Stasia Savasuk, Jess Ekstrom, Sharon Prentice, and Renee Linell and hear the favorite solocasts, too.

To get links to all of the episodes, click here.

In Part 2 of the Season 4 Finale, host Paula Jenkins counts down the top ten most downloaded episodes. Listen to short clips from Jonni Pollard, Stasia Savasuk, Jess Ekstrom, Sharon Prentice, and Renee Linell and hear the favorite solocasts, too.

To get links to all of the episodes, click here.

Host Paula Jenkins takes a look at the top lessons, aha moments, and unexpected learnings of having been podcasting now for four years. There are tips, tricks, and lots of mindset and inspiration discussed in this Season 4 Finale.

Sister Michelle L’Allier is a Franciscan Sister from Minnesota, and I’ve had the absolute pleasure of getting to know her through leading retreats at San Damiano Retreat here in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sister Michelle and I got to know each other over the course of several years, when she was the adviser for the retreat team I led. She’s a person that I feel so very lucky to know; she’s deeply spiritual and also approachable, meeting each person she encounters where they are. I’m really excited to have her on as the last guest of Season 4.

One of the things that I love about our discussion is that we dive into the question of “how do I be myself?” It’s a question that embodies the inspiration, intention, and action that have been the focus of this season. For Sister Michelle, the question of being herself led to the Franciscan faith, and an understanding of love, and what divine love means. For myself, I think that being myself means saying yes to Joy, listening to it, looking for it, and living by it.

In this episode, Sister Michelle L’Allier and I talk about:

• Growing up in Minnesota
• Finding love
• The story of St Francis and Clare of Assisi
• Loving all parts of yourself
• How we can begin to break down walls and dismantle things like human trafficking
• Working through trauma is important for everyone, and how to do it
• How you can learn to talk about emotions even if it wasn’t something you did growing up
• How people bundle a wider range of emotions under a single word, and why that doesn’t serve them
• The gifts of joy and compassion and how they are needed by every person
• How to jumpstart your joy: letting go of the addiction that fuels perfectionism, finding connection and love, and living a life of adventure.

Resources
The Wisdom Jesus:Transforming Heart and Mind -- A New Perspective on Christ and His Message by Cynthia Bourgeault on Amazon
Eager to Love: The Alternative Way of Saint Francis by Richard Rohr
John Duns Scotus on Wikipedia
A Franciscan Moral Vision on Amazon
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford on Amazon
Catholic Means Universal: Integrating Spirituality and Religion by David Richo

Christy Tending is back for her sixth visit, and this time we’re talking about how our lives and businesses have recently evolved. It’s a living discussion, and one that started when we met to co-work at a cafe this summer and found ourselves diving into a conversation about how we’d recently had a very mindful and impactful experience of making decisions that have intrinsically changed who we are, and how we approach things.

In this episode, Christy Tending and I talk about:

• How things can reach a point where it’s no longer possible for you to continue doing what once worked for you
• How Christy quit drinking and the reasons why she chose to make that change
• The intrinsic connection between making decisions as a consumer, capitalism, and politics
• How I called bullshit on the idea that “the other shoe was about to drop” in my personal life and marriage
• How nagging is a choice, and how to stop nagging (zen moment: just stop)
• How you can create a business or an offering, or a podcast, by focusing on the things that seem easy to you
• What’s easy for you is not necessarily easy for anyone else (and how that leads you to discount the power of what comes easily)
• Why it’s important to talk about the role of racism, alcoholism, climate, and other pieces of our heritage that we don’t find acceptable with our children
• Why and how stating what your business stands for, and how it has evolved helps you find your true audience (and why that’s OK)
• How we evolve and become more comfortable with stating what words fit us (anarchist, Buddhist, etc)
• The roles of studentship and conversely, being a “guru”
• Studentship: What it looks like to be a student of your own process, and of learning new things as you go
• The possible role of self doubt and the inner critic when you complicate things
• The balance of really not knowing the outcome of any situation, and finding our way to be confident and share our expertise around something
• The wisdom of leaning on others in your community for knowledge and leadership, instead of acting like one person knows everything (which they don’t)
• The importance of having community in business
• We all have access to the divine any time we want it, and we all have access to politics and power whenever we want it
• That capitalism tells us that if we are good at something and it is lucrative: we’re supposed to do that thing until we drop

Resources
Christy Tending’s beautiful new website

Christy Tending’s podcast: Tending Your Life