I truly enjoyed getting to speak with Jonni, and felt myself sinking into the conversation in a deep way. One of the most inspirational parts of the discussion for me was when we walked through the Four Golden Insights, which are the pillars for the work Jonni does.
4. Fulfillment is our Purpose – we find our purpose by fully understanding who we are
Resources
The Golden Sequence by Jonni Pollard on Amazon
Jonni Pollard and I talk about:
Intentional Comfort is the theme of this season, and in this episode I'm taking inspiration from Priya Parker's Art of Gathering, and using her 3 rules of gathering to consider new ways to reconnect with what nourishes, fortifies, and supports you. While her Ted Talk is about how to interact in groups and gatherings in new ways, I find that her rules and thoughts offer insights on how to connect with yourself, and how to determine what is meaningful to you when looking for intentional comfort.
Here are the basics of what I'm covering:
Don't leave it to chance
This is the intentional part of things. If we leave the relationship and connection we have to and with ourselves to chance, it's far too easy to focus on the basics and logistics of life, and ignore time for self care. If you're longing for more time for yourself, or time to do thoughtful, comforting things, schedule that time in.
Embrace your purpose
For many of you, especially over the stretch of the pandemic, you may have developed some habits that aren’t really serving you. And, while they likely did serve you for a period of time, now that we’re nearly into the third year of all of this, I think the way we look at comfort and what fortifies us has likely changed. It’s become super apparent that this isn’t about a sprint, this is about a transition. What is the purpose, or meaning, behind setting up time for intentional comfort?
How can you craft something that supports and nourishes you, as we all work through this transition together?
What is the purpose of what you want to do, in finding comfort?
What would meet your needs?
If you’re looking for an escape, what does that look like given any of your current constraints?
If you’re looking for peace and quiet, why?
And if you dig a layer deeper, is there something you feel is missing?
Cause good controversy
Priya says that “human connection is as threatened by unhealthy peace as it is by unhealthy conflict.” And, I’d add that this connection is true for gatherings as it is for the connection you and I have with ourselves.
For this, I’d ask yourself what do you need, right now? Drop any sort of “shoulds” or polite answers. You're answering this just for yourself.
Some of these answers might be overly simple: a walk, a shower, a drink of water, a meal
Some of these answers might be more complicated and feel harder to figure out: a feeling of connectedness, quiet time when I’m not needed by anyone else, a day to just bake cookies and connect with the holiday spirit
How can you do this? It might feel like it involves creating some good controversy, especially if it involves speaking up to divide up housework with your family, to find quiet time, to find time to pursue a hobby, or to interview for a new job. You may need help from other people to do these things. So, dive in and ask yourself what you need and then figure out what kind of help you need from other people in your family.
The other side of this good controversy could be a totally inside job. It could be that you’ve been sitting with something for a long time that doesn’t feel so great, and in order to find comfort and joy on the other side, you need to work through it. You may need to break through a Story - or something you’re assuming is true but isn’t really true.
Use "pop up" rules
Priya suggests this for groups that gather that don’t necessarily share the same background, or are part of the same generation, culture, or rules for etiquette. She says in those situations, you can set up pop up rules to encourage meaningful connection.
What if you changed your own rules for a bit? What rules could you set for yourself, just for a day or a week, to support yourself?
An example might be: set a bedtime for yourself for the next week if you are tired.
Make a rule for yourself that this week, you will slow down and have an afternoon snack and see how that feels.
Limit your interaction with people who stress you out, if possible.
Maybe if there’s a particular person that tends to upset you but you know you’ll see at a holiday event, maybe set a rule that you can leave after a certain amount of time at the event, or request that you not be seated next to them?
This might mean that you’re asking for something slightly different of yourself and other people - and that could be uncomfortable. So, let it be an experiment. Try out what something new looks like.
Wrap up
These ideas are all so applicable to how we can find intentional comfort and joy in our lives. It’s so easy to get into habits that don’t really support you, but have addressed discomfort you may have been feeling. Intentional Comfort is all adding a layer of mindfulness to what you do every day. I have been looking for ways to intentionally add nurturing and nourishing habits to my days, and find that when I make those choices, I do find more joy, too.
Resources
Stasia Savasuk is an amazing style coach, and the super power behind Stasia's Style School, The REVEL-You-Tion, and Wear Our Word. She helps women find "inside out congruency," which is all about how you can do the inner work to define your values, and match those in the clothes that you choose to wear. I've thoroughly enjoyed her leadership over the last year, and her program encourages beautiful, authentic growth that has people shining from the inside out.
In this episode, Stasia and I talk about:
- Bell Hooks' book, "All About Love"
- Self-regulation, and how to regulate when you feel triggered
- How Stasia chooses themes for her REVEL-You-tion program
- Inside-out congruency: Who are you on the inside, and how can you reflect that on the outside?
- Becoming happy with yourself now, just as you are
- The BS of the standard cultural beliefs around what is beautiful
- Why community is important in making change
- Why self acceptance is so important and how it is life changing
- Why New Years Resolutions don't work, and how they are just part of the problem
- Wear Our Word workshop
- Her top ways to jump start your joy: get outside
Resources
Stasia's Wear Our Word workshop waitlist (click here)
Stasia Savasuk on JSYJ, from Season 4: Dressing for Joy and Confidence
"All About Love" by Bell Hooks
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
I am delighted to be joined for a second time by Marsha Flowers, who is the owner of Five B and Co Candles, and the newly launched Little Bee Scents. In our conversation, she shares how she has listened to her heart to expand her business in new ways. After thinking about what she likes best about candle making (the creativity, creating scents, and community), she realized that she also wanted to help other candle makers (and soap makers too!) bring their dreams to life. In the spirit of mentoring and helping others in the field she loves so much, Little Bee Scents was born.
In this episode, Marsha and I talk about:
Resources
Marsha Flower's candle website: Five Blessings Candles
Marsha Flower's scent website: Little Bee Scents
Marsha Flowers on JSYJ: Creating “Happiness in The Form of a Flicker”
Jacqualyn Jackson is the small business owner behind Investment Inspectors, LLC, who provides home inspections, home healings, and sound baths. Jacqualyn has embraced her multi-passionate personality by leaning into several of the things she loves to do: offering objective findings for people buying or selling a home, and in nourishing the more spiritual side of things in providing home healings and sound baths. I’m delighted to share how she’s woven these unique offerings into a single business that integrates with her personal values.
In this episode, Jacqualyn and I talk about:
Resources
Investment Inspectors LLC on Instagram
Email Jacqualyn at jacqualyn@investmentinspectorsllc.com
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
It's episode 300!! I'm sharing my top 3 reflections of having a podcast (and a business) over the past 7 years. Hear stories about staying inspired, how to remain consistent, why just starting is the hardest, and all about the magic of trying new things. Thank you to YOU for tuning in, for sharing JSYJ with others, and for bringing joy into the world. I am sending you love, and wishes for comfort and joy.
Over the past 300 episodes, I've had some learnings and find myself reflecting on them. Here's what I know to be true:
1. Just start.
Whatever it is that you're longing to do, take that first baby step. The first step is always the hardest, and it's often the thing that keeps us from moving towards our purpose and our dreams. Recognize that it's likely fear that's holding you back, and that fear just wants to keep you safe. That doesn't always serve you, or your dreams.
And, if you're already doing "the thing," you might find yourself dragging your feet to take future steps. Sometimes I dread editing my own show, but once I sit down, open the editing software, and get starting I love it, just like I always do. Procrastination is a dream killer. Get your momentum going by just starting.
2. Consistency.
Consistency is about more than posting on a regular schedule. It's about the timing, about what you share, about the core of your message, it's about alignment between yourself and your business. It's also about showing up for yourself, and for your audience (or your customer, because consistency plays a role in product based businesses too), so they know when and where to find you.
When I started I took the advice of Pat Flynn about remaining consistent with my podcast. In this episode, I also share a story about meeting Lewis Howes, and how that impacted my first year of podcasting.
Consistency becomes easier when you're aligned across the board with what you love, what you do, what you talk about, and what feels right for your and your business or show.
3. Try New Things (or, living out "Well Planned, Loosely Held")
When I started my show, and made the commitment to try it out for a whole year before making a decision on if I wanted to continue, my fried Christine Petty asked me the beautiful question of "imagine what is possible when you say yes to something for a year?" Her words have continued to inspire me, as they speak to the never ending possibilities that are out there when you say yes to your dreams.
"Going off script" is another part of trying new things, and something that Andrea Scher shared about in episode 299. In her brand new book, "Wonder Seeker," Andrea talks about the idea of trying something brand new, and out of the ordinary and seeing what happens.
In playing with my format for this show over the past 7 years, I have literally learned to go off script. I started with writing every solo episode out in its entirety. I no longer do this.
In your show, or your blog, business, or life - find ways to keep things fresh. You can always keep with the core idea, and try on new "seasons," which offer a different way to look at a topic you've stuck with for a long time.
Thank you all for tuning in! I have such deep appreciation for you, and wish you so much love, comfort, and joy.
Resources:
Pat Flynn's Smart Passive Income
Lewis Howes' School of Greatness Podcast
Matthew Wood on Jump Start Your Joy
Amy Bernhardt of Mimi's Little Loveys on Jump Start Your Joy
The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
Free Her Spirit Podcast by Christine Petty
Andrea Scher on Jump Start Your Joy
Andrea Scher has thrilled and inspired others for nearly twenty years through her award-winning blog Superhero Journal, her international workshops, her Creative Superheroes podcast, and her joyful e-courses. In this episode, we discuss Andrea’s new book, Wonder Seeker: 52 Ways to Wake up Your Creativity and Find Your Joy Today, and how and she describes why this is the perfect time to tune into the small things that bring you joy.
Read the full show notes on my website. Click here.
In this episode, Andrea and I talk about:
Resources
Preorder Andrea Scher's book: Wonder Seeker: 52 Ways to Wake Up Your Creativity and Find Your Joy
Get your free gift from Andrea after purchasing Wonder Seeker here
Other books and resources we mention in this episode
The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Wisdom, and Love: Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson
Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence by Rick Hanson
Amy started Mimi’s Little Loveys after disability and chronic illness forced her to stop teaching and working with young children. She followed her heart and her own curiosity to create a business that honors her values, and allows her to take care of herself. Amy joins the show to talk about how she's found intentional comfort, and built a life that supports her, and allows her to do the things she loves.
In this episode, Amy and I talk about:
Resources
Mimi’s Little Loveys on Instagram
Mimi’s Little Loveys on Facebook
uy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
What is Intentional Comfort? Why is it important? I'm sharing 3 conversations that paved the way for comfort to be the season 7 theme. Tune in to hear from Jenn Oglesbee, Ilene Smith, and Julia Samuels and learn more about what intentional comfort.
In this episode, I'm taking a look at some of the foundational conversations that paved the way for me to choose a theme of intentional comfort and joy for season seven here on the podcast.
1. One was with Jenn Oglesbee, who is a life coach and a licensed clinical social worker. We had three conversations on Instagram Live over the summer (which you can find at my Instagram account: conversation 1, conversation 2, conversation 3).
2. Ilene Smith, the author of Moving Beyond Trauma who shared that the last 18 months have been a trauma vortex in a discussion we had in season 5.
Listen to the full discussion with Ilene Smith here.
3. Julia Samuel, who is a psychotherapist who specializes in grief and wrote the book, Grief Works. She and I spoke about the importance of balancing grief with intentional times of happiness or joy.
Listen to that conversation here.
I wanted to synthesize some of these ideas so that you get this kind of juicy background of how we got to intentional comfort and joy for season seven (and give you a little bit more space to play with the theme).
Resources
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
What is Intentional Comfort? Why is it important? I'm sharing 3 conversations that paved the way for comfort to be the season 7 theme. Tune in to hear from Jenn Oglesbee, Ilene Smith, and Julia Samuels and learn more about what intentional comfort.
In this episode, I'm taking a look at some of the foundational conversations that paved the way for me to choose a theme of intentional comfort and joy for season seven here on the podcast.
1. One was with Jenn Oglesbee, who is a life coach and a licensed clinical social worker. We had three conversations on Instagram Live over the summer (which you can find at my Instagram account: conversation 1, conversation 2, conversation 3).
2. Ilene Smith, the author of Moving Beyond Trauma who shared that the last 18 months have been a trauma vortex in a discussion we had in season 5.
Listen to the full discussion with Ilene Smith here.
3. Julia Samuel, who is a psychotherapist who specializes in grief and wrote the book, Grief Works. She and I spoke about the importance of balancing grief with intentional times of happiness or joy.
Listen to that conversation here.
I wanted to synthesize some of these ideas so that you get this kind of juicy background of how we got to intentional comfort and joy for season seven (and give you a little bit more space to play with the theme).
Resources
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
What is Intentional Comfort? Why is it important? I'm sharing 3 conversations that paved the way for comfort to be the season 7 theme. Tune in to hear from Jenn Oglesbee, Ilene Smith, and Julia Samuels and learn more about what intentional comfort.
In this episode, I'm taking a look at some of the foundational conversations that paved the way for me to choose a theme of intentional comfort and joy for season seven here on the podcast.
1. One was with Jenn Oglesbee, who is a life coach and a licensed clinical social worker. We had three conversations on Instagram Live over the summer (which you can find at my Instagram account: conversation 1, conversation 2, conversation 3).
2. Ilene Smith, the author of Moving Beyond Trauma who shared that the last 18 months have been a trauma vortex in a discussion we had in season 5.
Listen to the full discussion with Ilene Smith here.
3. Julia Samuel, who is a psychotherapist who specializes in grief and wrote the book, Grief Works. She and I spoke about the importance of balancing grief with intentional times of happiness or joy.
Listen to that conversation here.
I wanted to synthesize some of these ideas so that you get this kind of juicy background of how we got to intentional comfort and joy for season seven (and give you a little bit more space to play with the theme).
Resources
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
Pamela Seelig began her yoga journey more than 25 years ago when an illness (Bell's Palsy) interrupted her Wall Street career. As part of her recovery from that diagnosis, she she began meditating and it brought her some amazing results. Not only did it speed up her recovery, but the impact of meditating at during that time in her life led to a lifelong pursuit of sharing yoga wisdom with others. In this interview, she joins me to talk about Stress Relief, Meditation and "Threads of Yoga," her new book.
What that means for you is whether or not you are currently practicing yoga, there will be something for you to glean from this conversation.
We talk about:
I feel like this weaves in so beautifully with the theme for season seven, which is all about intentional comfort and joy.
Resources
Centering Prayer Meditation by Paula Jenkins on Insight Timer (free)
Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle
Comfort and Joy is the new theme for Season 7 and I'm thrilled to sharing all about "intentional comfort." After spending time in the messy middle, over the last 18 months our nervous system needs a pause and a reset and some intentional comfort. So that's what we're looking at in this episode.
Here's what you'll find:
1. Intentional Comfort: It's the mindful activity of embracing comfort, and finding down time for yourself. It's important because we're all been in a "trauma vortex" since early 2020. (hat tip Ilene Smith)
2. What's the messy middle? (it's this weird undefined time we've been in, where we don't fully know when this pandemic will end, and know that we can't get back to where we were.)
3. It's time drop the idea that we should embrace "courage over comfort" or "living your big bold life" without balance of intentional comfort.
4. Introverts and highly sensitive people need to slow down and embrace comfort to be in a good place in their lives.
5. That we need comfort for comfort's sake. We need to rest for the sake of resting and wellness. (And not so that we can go do anything else. Just because.)
6. Finding intentional comforts, and the difference between comfort and numbing out. Comfort is affirming, nurturing and is taking care of oneself. Numbing out is doing something to an extreme, and losing oneself in the activity. Comfort is making space for life. Numbing out is usually an activity that takes over one's life.
7. Inspiration for the idea of Intentional Comfort:
Tami Hackbarth of 100% Guilt Free Self Care Podcast, and guest on Jump Start Your Joy
Jennifer L. Scott, author of the Madame Chic series of books. Also on YouTube.
Stasia Savasuk, Jump Start Your Joy guest and founder of Stasia's Style School
Jackie of Super Enthused, on YouTube and Instagram
Sonya Renee Taylor, author of The Body is Not an Apology, leader, poet, activist, and guest on Jump Start Your Joy.
Buy Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle on Amazon (affiliate link)
Follow Jump Start Your Joy on Apple Podcasts
Follow Jump Start Your Joy on Spotify
Welcome to Jump Start Your Joy's Top 10 of Season One. As I round out the 6th Season of the podcast, I found myself wanting to take a look back at how the show started. Season One was magical, and memorable in so many ways.
You can read the full episode notes on my website.
Here's the sampling of who you'll hear in this episode:
1. Kathleen Davies, from Episode 1. She is a preaching pastor in Houston Texas, and my former room mate at Yale Divinity School.
2. Matthew Wood, Senior Sound Editor at Skywalker Sound and the voice of General Grievous in the Star Wars universe. Matt and I attended grade school together, and he shares how George Lucas chose him for the General Grievous role. He was on Episode 3.
3. Molly Larkin, a life coach, and registered nurse. We discussed Loving Kindness in Episode 10.
4. Liz Ross, advertising agency veteran and past president of Periscope agency in Minneapolis. We talked about leadership and putting people first in Episode 21.
5. Lexi Koch, a life coach and farmer. We talked about the courage it takes to be vulnerable in life. She was on Episode 35.
6. Holly Becker is the powerhouse behind the blog Decor8, and founder of "Blogging Your Way." She came on to talk about how to find your voice, and joined me Episode 36.
7. Jennifer Lee is the author of "Right Brain Business Plan," and a great business coach. She was on Episode 38 and we talked about how to build a sustainable creative business.
8. Sharon Aldeguer is a body builder and an IT professional. She had a brain tumor removed, and suffered nerve damage during the surgery. She joined me to talk about hope in Episode 45.
9. Flylady Marla Cilley has a successful website and helps people reign in the chaos of their homes. She joined me for Episode 46, and we talked about how habits and routines can help you find more joy in life.
10. Danny Wood of New Kids on the Block, and founder of Remember Betty was my guest on Episode 20. He had released a new album "Look at Me," which benefitted his nonprofit which supports breast cancer patients. He shared about losing his mother, Betty, to breast cancer and his family, and the fans.
Follow Jump Start Your Joy on Apple Podcasts
Follow Jump Start Your Joy on Spotify
Stasia Savasuk is an amazing style coach, has an outstanding Tedx Talk, and is the founder of Stasia’s Style School. She’s joining me on the show, and I’m delighted to share this interview. We giggled our way through our discussion, and had a hilarious time talking about style, what lights us up, how to find what kinds of styles fit YOU, and, all about Stasia’s inspiring story of becoming an entrepreneur.
In this episode, Stasia and I talk about:
Resources
Stasia Savasuk’s website
Stasia on Instagram
Andrea and I are talking about the many ways that you can make some noise, own your strengths, and speak your mind. It’s a big topic, and it could not come at a better time. At the heart of making noise is first getting comfortable with accepting the unique things that make you great. I know that many times, it feels more comfortable to play down your strengths because maybe somewhere back in your childhood or formative years you were told that you shouldn’t bring too much attention to yourself, or “brag” about what you are good at.
The thing is, that’s all a bunch of BS. Each person on this planet has a very unique set of talents and gifts, and it’s your job to uncover them and share them with others. When you get stuck in the messaging that you need to hide your talent or play down what you do best, it means that you are not owning all of who you are. And it means that you are playing into fear: the fear that you’re not enough and the fear of outshining others. The truth is that no one wins when you hide your greatness, AND everyone wins when you do share your strengths and talents.
And that’s what Andrea has written about in this new book. How you can make some noise.
Here’s what else we talk about:
– how women and girls are conditioned to play down strengths and fit in, even to the point that we will hold ourselves back so we don’t outshine friends or colleagues
– why hiding your strengths doesn’t help you or anyone else
– understanding the role of intuition in stepping in to your greatness
– resilience
– the mindset of greatness
– internalized misogyny: why some women align themselves with a misoynistic point of view, and how it keeps women from stepping into their own greatness
– why we all need to make some noise, now, in the #metoo era
Read the full show notes on the website.
Resources:
Order Make Some Noise by Andrea Owen
Andrea Owen on How to Be Taken Seriously Even When You’re Not a Serious Person (on Jump Start Your Joy)
How to Stop Feeling Like Shit and Live a Kickass Life with guest Andrea Owen (on Jump Start Your Joy)
Andrea Owen’s Website
Andrea Owen on Instagram
John McEuen reached out to share 2 new songs with us, and I'm releasing "Hey Joe" with the Oak Ridge Boys, and "Back in History" with John Russell in this episode as we listen to John talk about his book, the Life I've Picked.
I could not be more excited to share this week’s interview. John is one of the most celebrated and best known banjo players in the world, and has had a long and exciting career in music. It was amazing to get to speak with him about his book, “The Life I’ve Picked,” his early days at the magic shop in Disneyland (where he became friends with Steve Martin), and about being the first American musical group to tour Russia in 1977.
I also loved getting to hear about John’s creative process, and how much he delights in creating music to share with others. You can hear the joy in his voice as he talks about his experiences. Plus, he talks about “bone records” which made to bootleg music into Russia in the 70s, and that is not something you are gonna hear on any other podcast today.
Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.
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Season 6 has been all about finding joy in the messy middle. In the season finale, I'm looking back and the 5 most memorable conversations I've had with guests over the last year. For each one, I'm sharing a bit about what stood out about our conversation, and, playing a bit of the episode so you can hear them explain things in their own words.
Dr. Jeff Speiss is the author of "Dying with Ease," and he joined me early on in the season. I love that he shared about what he's learned from working with people who are dying, and what we can all do to feel more joy while we are alive. He also talked how listening to someone in a difficult time is often the most profound gift you can give them. Tune in to our original full length conversation in episode 268.
Molly Knoderer and I went to high school together and played softball on the same team. She's a co-owner of Legacy Concierge Services, and an author. Her business works with finding care for the elderly, both in working with families and with aging people. I loved that she shared about overcoming obstacles and self doubt. And she also talked about some of the lessons she's learned about how to face hard times (like 9/11) from working with elderly clients. Listen to our whole conversation right here in episode 270.
Lan Cao, and her daughter, Harlan Margaret Van Cao wrote an amazing memoir together title "Family in Six Tones." As an immigrant from Vietnam during the Vietnam war, Lan Cao has interesting perspectives on belonging and family. She shared about how learning the syntax of English as a child gave her a framework for understanding complexities in life, and she talks about how that layered in to her understanding of her daughter as a high school student. You can listen to episode 274 by clicking here.
Erica Courdae is a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion consultant, and a life coach, and small business owner. She is also the host of Pause on the Play. I had the pleasure of meeting her in 2019 and was really inspired by her talk about "Imperfect Allyship" at She Podcasts. I loved having Erica come on to share what imperfect allyship looks like, and how we can all approach anti-racism in a way that leaves room for honest mistakes as individuals grapple with difficult topics in an earnest way. Listen to episode 283 here.
Sonya Renee Taylor is the author of "The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love," and Radical Executive Officer of The Body is Not An Apology, a digital media and education company promoting radical self-love and body empowerment as the foundational tool for social justice and global transformation. It was a true joy to have her on the show, and I loved that she shared about how she defines radical self love. And, I was inspired hearing her talk about she only "gives from her overflow" in regards to activist work. You can listen to this whole delight-filled conversation here on episode 287.
Read the episode notes on the website
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A lot of people are talking about FOMO, especially as the US is opening back up after the pandemic. As everything and everyone starts to come out of quarantine and shelter in place, and we are feeling safer about being in public, it seems that a lot of people are feeling he push to rush back into life, and, rush back to returning to life at the same pace we'd all been keeping in the end of 2019 (if not faster). And, many people are layering this return to "normal" with an urgency to catch up for "lost" time, or, trying to cram in more during this time because we fear what's to come after losing so much over the past 16 months. Because 2020 was a total sh*tshow, it's reasonable to be cautious and concerned, but I think it's amping up our anxiety.
In this episode I'm sharing about how it's OK to slow down, and it's also totally OK to Opt Out during this transition time. Maybe you realized that you like a slower pace of life while you were in quarantine. Maybe you discovered you needed more quiet time for yourself. And now that invitations are going out about social gatherings, and people getting together you might feel like you "should" go (and not really want to).
I want to give you full permission to do a couple of things:
1. Take stock in what you really want to do. If you're craving alone time, don't feel like you need to go to an event, or go do anything. Opting out is an option.
2. Notice where you feel like things are "too much." We've all just been through a lot, and our brains and nervous systems have been on high alert for over a year. We've been living in a time where even basic tasks were not as safe as usual, and it will take time to re-acclimate. If it feels like you've done enough today as far as socializing or going out in public goes, let it be enough. Opting out of doing more, or doing anything, is an option.
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Resources
Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most by Greg McKeown
There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing by Adam Grant in the NY Times
Make Some Noise by Andrea Owen
Get it Done: The Email Course by Alexandra Franzen
In this episode, I'm talking about the term "languishing," which is something that Adam Grant recently wrote about in the New York Times. His article was titled "There's a Name For The Blah That You're Feeling, and It's Called Languishing." When I read it, it struck me that languishing really is one of the predominant emotions that you find in the messy middle. It's languishing. Isn't full on depression. It's not boredom or anger. It's not any of those. It's just that vague feeling, that things aren't great.
Adam Grant describes it this way, "Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you're muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield, and it might be the dominant emotion of 2021." And, in reading this I felt similar to the way I did when I read about people naming the feeling of grief that was a predominant emotion at the beginning of the pandemic. It has also given me something to call the annoyance and mild overwhelm I've felt recently, and that I even did a podcast episode about.
This low-level funk made me feel that I needed to try and do something, anything, to find my way out and into something else. And so I signed up with Tami Hackbarth's "Deferred Maintenance" program and I tackled just one thing.
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Resources:
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
In this interview, I am so honored to be joined by author Sonya Renee Taylor. Sonya is the author of the the New York Times Bestselling book, “The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love.” She just recently released an updated version of that book, and the “Your Body is Not an Apology Workbook: Tools for Living Radical Self Love.” Sonya is joining me to talk all about radical self-love and joy. And, she shares that when we start to love ourselves, we can transform how we interact with others in the world.
One of my favorite parts of our discussion sits at the heart of something that has bothered me about joy recently; the question of “how can I embrace joy if that joy possibly comes at the expense of someone else’s freedom, joy, or access to things?” In other words, where does my own privilege enable me to experience joy when others may not have that same access to it.
In talking about altruistic joy, Sonya and I talked about how this relates to her frame work of “interest buying” or “detriment buying” – in other words, there are things that we do or things that we consume that are in the better interest of all people (altruistic) and there are things that we consume or do that are at the detriment of others.
And here’s where it got really juicy. Sonya shared that she feels that true, altruistic joy is the kind of joy that has no residue. And, this is perhaps one of the most amazing reflections I’ve heard about joy in the 7 years I’ve been talking to guests about it. Here’s what she had to say about it:
“What it brings up for me is: joy doesn’t have a residue. There’s no residue on joy. It’s beautiful. If there’s a residue, that’s information for you. That’s information to say, “this might not actually be best interest. This might actually be detriment by it. There is something on it that is not about simply living into the most joyful, highest vibration of myself in the world. There is something that says, ‘I’m trying to clean up something. I’m trying to fix something. I’m trying to extract something externally because it’s coming from a place of lack or scarcity.'”
That’s what the residue piece is. And so I think if we can start noticing and getting present with the question of is there a residue after I do a thing? And then, how can I let that be an indicator of whether or not I’m actually in a joy practice. Am I in an interest / buying practice? Or am I in a detriment practice?”
Sonya Renee Taylor and I talked about:
– her early joys of creating radio shows with her friend
– slam poetry festivals, and how entering them fed her soul
– how “The Body is Not an Apology” got started
– how the Genesis story in the Judeo-Christian tradition relates to shame and body image
– how to tell if your joy is coming from an altruistic place, or if it may have residue on it
– embracing radical self love
– why radical self love is not easy work
– the indoctrination of all of us in a society where the hierarchy has a vested interest in keeping us from embracing self love
– giving from your overflow, and how that can help you steer clear of burnout
– that choosing to spread radical self love feeds itself, and creates room for more radical self-love
Resources
Sonya Renee Taylor’s Website
The Body is Not an Apology Website
Support The Body is Not an Apology by making a contribution
Sonya Renee Taylor on Unlocking Us with Brene Brown
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In this episode, I’m delighted to have Fred Waitzkin return for his second interview, this time to talk about his brand new book “Strange Love.” Fred is the author of “Searching for Bobby Fischer,” which is based on his experiences with his son Josh who was a chess prodigy at age 7. In this new interview, we talk about his latest book (Strange Love), his time during COVID in New York and Costa Rica, and what drew him to write a story based in Costa Rica, and his writing process.
What I love about this conversation is the way that Fred talks about his creative process. I find that creating a podcast weekly also takes a good deal of creativity, for my clients and for myself. It’s always interesting to me to learn how other creative people tap into creative flow. Fred uses real life to inspire the events of his book, and he talks about three key things as far as how he goes about writing.
In this conversation, Fred Waitzkin and I talk about:
– his new book, Strange Love, and how he crafted the characters
– his inspiration for writing, often taken from day to day life and people he knows
– Costa Rica and New York City during the COVID pandemic
– his creative process in writing
– how the pandemic has changed us as people
– the resurgence of interest in his book, Searching for Bobby Fischer, after the release of The Queen’s Gambit
Resources
Fred Waitzkin’s website
Strange Love by Fred Waitzkin
Searching for Bobby Fischer by Fred Waitzkin
Fred’s first interview on Jump Start Your Joy
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In this episode, I am sharing about a couple of parallel "paths" I've noticed in the past few months: those of Labyrinths, making mindful choices about what to do next, and setting boundaries to support those choices and new directions.
Your Unique Path
In December 2020 I took a week long course and became a trained labyrinth facilitator. The labyrinth has been around for centuries and is a helpful mindfulness tool, and a lovely walking meditation. It struck me that much like there are parallels between the center of a labyrinth and the messy middle of this pandemic.
Mindful choices on What's Next
This time in the messy middle has offered us a lot of time to think. I hear from other people that they are reflecting about what really matters, what things merit their time, what they really want to do when they can go back out in the world and do things with other people.
Boundaries
These two things (Labyrinths and honoring one's path) benefit from boundaries. A labyrinth without a clearly marked path is confusing, or, just a field. A life without boundaries is a free-for-all. So I want to mark things more mindfully, and make clear choices based on what I want and who I know I am. There is simplicity and beauty in knowing those things, and I want to honor them too.
For you:
What can you learn from your time in the Messy Middle of the pandemic?
Where has your path led you? Is it different than where you thought you'd go?
What kinds of boundaries could help define your path?
Resources
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
In this episode, I'm honored to be interviewing Lauren Artress. She is an author, Canon of Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, founder of Veriditas, and a spiritual pioneer and a leading force in popularizing the Labyrinth in the US and around the world. I have been fascinated with Labyrinths for years, and this last December became a trained Labyrinth facilitator. I'm excited to have Lauren joining me to talk about her experience with the Labyrinth, The Labyrinth Movement, and how it offers parallels and insights into our lives.
In this episode, Lauren and I talk about:
- the labyrinth and what it is
- her journey in finding the labyrinth in Cathedral de Chartres, France
- the role of the labyrinth at Grace Cathedral, San Francisco - both now, and during the AIDS epidemic
- the Holy Fool and how it relates to the Labyrinth
- Hand labyrinths: how they work and how they came about
- The parallels and metaphors of our lives and the walk of the labyrinth
Resources
Lauren Artress' Website
Veriditas Website
World Labyrinth Locator
In this episode, Erica and are diving in to the important topics of racism in the US, and what it means to be an imperfect ally. I had the pleasure of meeting her at ShePodcasts Live, and I was deeply inspired by her presentation there on imperfect allyship and anti-racism.
Erica is an an entrepreneur and certified coach, and her work is focused on diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), imperfect allyship, and imposter syndrome. I deeply appreciate her insights on how white people, like myself, can be better allies for people of color. I know from experience that it can be vulnerable to make changes and that there's an underlying fear that we may do something (with good intentions) that is more harmful than helpful. And, that if it's not right, it could backfire. And so many of us freeze and do nothing.
The truth is, action is what is needed. We can't continue to do nothing because of our own discomfort. And, the only way to make any change is to start trying it out, in small steps, and in little ways.
And that's what the heart of imperfect allyship is all about.
If you've been feeling deeply unsettled by what you've felt over the many acts of racial injustice that have been happening, and you know you want to do something (but you don't know what or how) - this is the episode for you.
Get all the show notes and a full transcript at the website.
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Purchase my book, Jump Start Your Joy: Heart-Centered Ways to Find Joy in The Messy Middle