Kate Bee is a former journalist, and the founder of The Sober School. I’m excited to have her on the show to talk about embracing sobriety, and how she works with women to create an alcohol free life they love. Growing up in England, Kate started drinking as a teen (where the legal drinking age for beer is 18 in a pub), and it was a habit that she continued well into her working life after college.
In this episode Kate Bee and I talk about:
Renee Linnell is the author of The Burn Zone, and a serial entrepreneur. At age 33 she woke up one morning and realized that she had very unintentionally joined a Buddhist cult. What had started as a quest for spiritual learning, and finding a place that felt like home to her turned out to be an intense group well versed in brainwashing, and converting others to bring in money to help support the larger cause.
In this episode Renee Linnell and I talk about:
Francesca Hogi is a dating and career coach, 2 time Survivor contestant, and a lawyer. She and I met last year in Atlanta, and I loved her take on life and love, and very much wanted to get the chance to chat with her more about the crossroads of joy and relationships. More than anything, I love that the heart of her work is all about love: how to find it in relationships, and how to find love in the work you do. We had a fun and light filled discussion and I feel so grateful that she joined me this week.
In this episode Francesca Hogi and I talk about:
-Her early love of reading, and not knowing what she wanted to be for a career
-Working as a lawyer
-How she was interested early on in relationships and dating
-Attending the Match Making Institute
-How baby steps brought her to become a match maker, and later a coach
-Becoming an entrepreneur
-Advice for finding the right relationship
-Celebrating our “unconscious genius”
-Aiming for contentment and joy in a relationship, and looking at what you prioritize in finding a partner
-Jumpstarting your joy by talking to strangers, taking a social media break, and keeping a gratitude journal
Sharon Prentice is a psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, and author of the book Becoming Starlight: A Shared Death Journey from Darkness and Light. Her journey includes having lost her daughter, and her husband, and then having a shared death experience with him when he passed away. At the time, she experienced the presence of the divine, and was instilled with a sense that everything (including the passing of two people she loved so much) was just as it should be. I’m thrilled to have her on the podcast to talk about her shared death experience, and how that event shifted so many things in her life.
Inspired by the Immense Love She Felt in a Shared Death Experience
One of the things that Sharon shares in her book and on the show is that at the time of her husband’s passing, she was still incredibly angry and upset with God for the loss of her daughter several years prior. Stephanie was born, and passed away the same day, and Sharon fell into a “newfound love of darkness that I carried with me always. Not as an anchor but a new way of living in the world that I had come to know was cruel and unforgiving and God-less.”
This event was spiritually book ended for her when she lost her husband. In the moment that he passed, Sharon felt herself being transported into what she calls Starlight. Surrounded by love, presence, and divinity beyond words, she sensed she was whole, accepted and loved beyond comprehension by a God that she had turned away from.
“I felt more whole, more forgiven than I’d ever felt before. I now felt nothing except an all-encompassing love and compassion. My heart held no fear, no anger, no grief, no struggle. I was complete just as I was -- I lacked nothing. Deep down, I suppose I had always known this; I had just forgotten it for awhile.” (pg 123)
In our interview, Sharon talks about his even more. What strikes me, and why I find this inspiring is that this love and compassion is something that the Divine holds for each of us. It’s not held for just a few. When I think about this radical acceptance, I wonder what would be possible for myself if I accepted the abundance, love, and compassion that is meant for me?
In this episode Sharon Prentice and I talk about:
-Her early childhood at Cape Cod, dancing and listening to music
-The spiritual nature of the ocean and why it draws us both in
-Sharon’s work with the terminally ill, and why she feels it’s her life’s work
-The spiritual nature, and root of, all therapy work
-Her Shared Death Experience, and how it felt like coming home
-Jesus and my favorite passage in the Bible (Father, Father, Why have you forsaken me?”
-Centering Prayer and meditation
-Her husband Steve’s last breath, and how it provided an entrance into a Shared Death Experience for her
-How to jumpstart your joy: wake up with a smile, tell the people in your life you love them, and focused prayer
Other resources for Grief, Death, and Dying:
Episode 168: Jonni Pollard on How to Awaken to The Truth of Who You Are
Episode 127: Julia Samuel on Grief Works, and the Stories of Life, Death, and Surviving
Episode 141: Debbie Augenthaler on Grief, Trauma, and Healing: You Are Not Alone
Here are the top 8 reasons why, if I could choose to be any spaceship in the galaxy, I'd choose to be the Millennium Falcon:
1. The Falcon is a named character in the movies, with personality, and a story arc.
2. The Millennium Falcon is fast, or, is it really just super smart?
3. This ship is part of something much bigger than itself.
5. The Millennium Falcon is a symbol of hope.
6. The Falcon is always waiting for the right people, and it’s a great get away vehicle.
7. The Falcon is a connector between main characters, and they have a connection to it.
8. The Millennium Falcon is a home.
There are so many ways that choice (and your mindset on choice) impacts the level of joy in your life. This week on the podcast, I’m exploring the topic of choice with these five great angles:
Oprah’s interview with Maya Angelou from December, 2000
Michelle Obama on “When they go low, we go high”
Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth on Amazon
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo on Amazon
Wayne Dyer on Choosing Love or Fear
Gemma Hartley is the author of” Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward,” and I’m thrilled to have her on the podcast to talk about emotional labor. Defined as “the invisible work women do to keep people around them happy,” emotional labor is a topic that doesn’t get talked about a lot, and often takes a toll on women and relationships. I’m excited that Gemma has opened the door for this discussion by addressing the topic, and offering thoughts on ways to move forward.
This week on the show, I’m taking a look at how I grew my business while working a 9 to 5 job. I’ll walk you through the inspiration, intention, and actions I took, and share reflections on how you can use these same tips to start or grow your own business.
See all of the show notes on the website, here:
Even though we are a couple of weeks in to 2019, it’s a great time to take a few minutes and map out your plans. I’m a big fan of sitting down for an hour or so and getting my thoughts for the year out on paper. I started doing something I call the “Ten in Three” in 2014, and in looking back at that first list, it’s fascinating to see that I have completed all but one thing (getting PMP certified, #2).
Set the Intention for your Year
You might feel, like I know have in the past, like life is moving fast and you don’t have time to really stop and soak in what’s going on. You might feel like you’re on a trajectory with your career that now feels just OK, but you know you want something more than what you’re currently doing. Or, maybe you have not stopped to think about what it is that you want to do with your one “wild and precious life” since college, and feel a bit lost.
The beauty about taking an hour or so to get your thoughts in order about what you truly want to accomplish (instead of being in a reactive mode), is that it provides you with a little time to put some mindfulness and intention around your year.
Set a timer for 15 minutes and get out a blank pieces of paper or journal page and work through these questions to sort through your intentions - try to keep the answers in a list or bullet format so you can easily see the key ideas that start to emerge during this process.
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you start this process:
Choose the Things You’ll Focus On
The next step, after you’ve spent the time doing a highly productive brain dump, let’s get sorting through those thoughts.
Look over your list, and taking a moment with each item you’ve written, let the idea settle into your heart. There may be some of those items on your list that are “maybe some day” type items, and others that feel like they resonate with your soul.
Take a highlighter or colored pen, and mark the ideas that feel like the ones closest to the things you truly want to focus on.
Set Your Ten in Three
Once you’ve sorted through the ideas, it’s likely that there are a handful that are bubbling up as main ideas you want to bring to life. Take a look and see what you’ve got, and narrow this list down to the top ten that you want to bring into reality.
My process has been that I pick ten items that I want to complete, and spread them across three years. There’s a lot of pressure online to “do all the things,” and that leads to being totally overwhelmed. Once you’ve narrowed it down to three big goals for a year, you’ve limited the the things that will get your attention, and increased the likelihood each one will get completed. I’m also a big fan of this method over something like a Bucket List because it gives you focus, instead of being a big long list hanging out there that feels too long to ever finish.
You can download the fancy downloadable, printable sheet to remind you of your Ten in Three by clicking here.
Two notes on the Ten in Three: while the instructions here are simple, this process can be one that takes a couple of days. Allow yourself the time and space to do this in a way that feels right for you. Make the commitment to yourself to finish this once you’ve started.
The other note that I like to point out to people about the Ten in Three is to be kind to yourself if, say, midyear, you realize you don’t want to do one of the things you added. It’s OK to change your list, depending on what life throws at you. The only thing I haven’t finished on my list is #2, and it was an intentional decision for me to not pursue getting a PMP certificate. You can change your mind, too.
Jess Ekstrom is the energetic CEO and founder of Headbands of Hope, and the developer of the Mic Drop Workshop. I had the pleasure of meeting Jess in Atlanta last year, and knew from the moment she shared the mission of her company (and it only further made me love her when she quoted Will Ferrell) that I wanted to talk to her more, and to have her on the show.
Jess’ story of creating Headbands of Hope is one that resonates on all three of the Inspiration, Intention, and Action tenets that have been a part of Season 4 on Jump Start Your Joy. In her time working with the Make a Wish Foundation, she noticed that children didn’t like to wear a wig after having gone through chemo, and that many of the little girls preferred to wear a headband instead. Inspired by seeing an unmet need (there was no central place offering headbands for kids), Jess created Headbands of Hope with a “buy one, donate one” business model similar to Toms Shoes, and created a simple and impactful business that’s brought hope to children in every children’s hospital in the US.
It was Jess’ intention to make an impact through a simple but powerful way - to brighten the day and provide a boost of confidence to children going through chemo. And it was her own action to bring this idea to life that now feeds back to the inspiration and support of others.
Jess Ekstrom and I talk about:
Jonni Pollard is a meditation and wisdom teacher, with his teachings stemming from the Vedic tradition. He’s the author of "The Golden Sequence," co-founder of the 1 Giant Mind Learn Meditation course and the 1 Giant Mind Teacher Training Academy. As a true multipassionate, he’s also been an actor, and an avid skateboarder and runner. Jonni now works with corporations, individuals and at events teaching others how to “get into the highest state of love to connect to our humanity.”
The Inspiration of the Four Golden Insights
I truly enjoyed getting to speak with Jonni, and felt myself sinking into the conversation in a deep way. One of the most inspirational parts of the discussion for me was when we walked through the Four Golden Insights, which are the pillars for the work Jonni does.
4. Fulfillment is our Purpose - we find our purpose by fully understanding who we are
Jonni Pollard and I talk about:
As entrepreneurs and solo-prenuers, let's look at a new definition of abundance that makes room for the lives we want to lead, the people we want to reach, and the we way want to show up in this world. Learn how on this final episode of 2108.
This week on the show, Andrea Owen returns for a second visit and this conversation is, hands down, the hardest I’ve laughed in quite some time. Andrea is a coach, author of two books (52 Ways to Live a Kick Ass Life and How to Stop Feeling Like Shit), and she’s the host of the amazing “Your Kick Ass Life” podcast. She and I talk about how to be taken seriously even when you’re not a serious person.
As an entrepreneur, and a woman out doing business in the world, I am betting that this episode will resonate with you strongly. It’s getting at the heart of some deep seated conditioning, and calling into question something my own personal inner critic is pretty tied to: as a person who does serious work (life coaching, business coaching and project management all require an understanding of deep emotional or business acumen), I often worry that if I present my light heartedness in front of others, my ability to be serious and taken as a credible intelligent person will be dismissed.
What I love is that in this chat, Andrea calls bullshit on this, for both of us. She says it’s “inner critic bullshit” that’s just getting in the way of our being our true selves. And, I agree with her.
I also love that this discussion goes meta and self-reflective on itself, as we start out talking about how we’re both silly people at heart, and how as humorous people we both worry that we can’t ALSO be serious. After laughing our butts off (you’ll have to listen because it is funny, I laughed out loud when I was editing this episode), we then dive into deep and serious territory. We talk about the death of her father, about numbing out, about PTSD, about the serious shit.
In other words, the conversation itself shows us that yes, you can be funny, and serious all in the same 45 minutes.
Inspiration and Intention:
Where are you undermining or downplaying your own natural way of being because you feel like they are not “acceptable” to others?
How can you look at those traits as a gift, using a different lens? Who are some other people you can identify (and maybe even look up to) that share those traits with the world?
In this episode, Andrea Owen and I talk about:
A project manager with 20 years of experience, Paula breaks down how to take the basics of project management & apply the skills and toolset to your small business as an entrepreneur. A great primer in running a project & insights on what to look
Self Advocate, activist, mentor and coach, Christy Tending joins the show with a fresh take on leaning into our uniqueness, owning our imperfections, and waking up to our own freedom.
Sarah Von Bargen of Yes and Yes joins Paula to talk about how to build joyful, intentional habits, how to question the messages in the world around us, and how you can craft your most mindful and meaningful life.
Are you having anxiety about the family Thanksgiving dinner, your spouse's company party, or spending the holidays with your inlaws? In this episode, Paula talks about how to create an intentionally joyfilled holiday season.
Welcome to Season 4! This week on the show, I’m doing a solocast to kick off Season 4 and taking a look at the direction the show will be headed this season.
This week on the show I’m talking about:
– the three steps in the process of going after your dreams: inspiration, intention, and action
– why you need to build in time for rest and activity
– the bookends of emotions
– hanging on to the “anchor” of good times, even when you’re faced with difficult times
– my amazing time on the NKOTB Cruise X in 2018
– how people around us can inspire us and remind us of who we are and what’s important to us
Kate Swoboda joins the show to talk about her book, The Courage Habit, and we talk about how to develop new habits, and stop doing the things that no longer serve you.
In this episode, Kate Swoboda and I talk about:
The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life by Kate Swoboda on Amazon
Courageous Living Coach Certification – CLCC
Kate Swoboda’s site: Your Courageous Life
Kate Swoboda on past Jump Start Your Joy episodes:
Kate Swoboda on “Courage as a Path to Healing (Episode 8, Season 1)
The Crossroads of Courage and Creating Habits with guest Kate Courageous (Episode 80, Season 2)
Season Two Finale: A Roundtable on Joy, Finding Inspiration, and Self Care in Difficult Times (Episode 101, Season 2)
Emily Ann Peterson joins to share about how to follow your heart, tap into "Bare Naked Bravery," and nourish and nurture yourself while living with an illness.
What we talk about in this episode:
Emily Ann Peterson’s website
Bare Naked Bravery (the book) by Emily Ann Peterson (pre-order the bravery bundle)
Christy Tending joins the show to talk about how to go beyond self care, and to work with self advocacy. Learn how to take the steps to get what you need to nurture and nourish yourself and live a life you love.
Learn all about how to cope with grief and make space for what you need during times of loss in this interview with Debbie Augenthaler. This episode is part of the Nourish & Nurture series.
Host Paula Jenkins is counting down the top 10 most downloaded episodes on Jump Start Your Joy, Season 3. From coaches, to musicians, to authors and several solocasts, get a feel for the show and YOUR most favorite guests.
Who will be #1? Tune in to find out!
Joy and Grief are two parts of our human experience. Join Paula as she revisits the most impactful and joyful discussions of Season 3, and learn about mindfulness, making space for joy, and embracing all of your emotions with three important guests.
As Season 3 comes to a close, and Fall is just around the corner, I'm finding that I'm ready to slow down. Our summer was purposefully jam packed: We visited England, we went on a family trip to San Diego, and I traveled to Atlanta for a conference. It was fun, it was exciting, and it was exhausting. As the seasons change, I'm longing for a slower pace and an I'm finding myself tired of the busy-ness. In this week's episode, I'm looking back at the first episode of Season 3, which was all about the steps to slowing down and savoring joy.
Are you feeling the same way? With returning to school, and winding down from summer, do you feel the shift in perspective?
Somewhere in the midst of traveling, creating, connecting, loving, and following my heart, I think I got wrapped up in the busy-ness and distraction of other stuff, too. Promoting the show. Finding the perfect stock image and the quote to go with it. Staying up too late as I danced with perfectionism. Joy was getting intertangled with shoulds and being perfect and it got heavy.
What I needed to do was re-set my perspective.
Have you read the book, "Chasing Slow," by Erin Loechner? She says “It takes work to change your perspective. Work that is not easily done when you’re looking everywhere else.”
In the midst of sitting with a slower pace, and getting re-acquainted with joy, I found that these six steps are a great foundation for slowing down and saving joy:
1. Agree to slow down. Give yourself space.
2. Take a good hard look at the thing that is no longer bringing you the joy it once did, and take note of why.
3. Reflect on what about this thing used to bring you joy. Write it down.
4. Ask yourself what would make this thing joyful again?
5. If a break from the thing sounds good, take it, and let it be a true break. Notice what you miss about the thing if anything.
6. Check back in after a month or so and see if you want to return to doing the thing. If so, make your plan. If not, let it go.
The book list from Episode 101: (includes affiliate links)
Paula recommends:The Spy: A Novel of Mata Hari by Paulo Coehlo
Laura recommends: Commonwealth: A Novel by Ann Patchett
Kate recommends: The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
Deb recommends: White Hot Truth by Danielle LaPorte
Michelle recommends: Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner OR Tim Gunn's Guide to Style
Listen to Episode 101, where Michelle shares about Erin Loechner's book.